While it is no secret that I am homesick for the family that I was born into, it is hard to understand that what I have been feeling a twinge of lately is that gut wrenching emotion of jealousy. When I am talking on the phone to my mom, which happens more than you can imagine, and I hear that she is going for a walk with so and so, or out to eat with whats her name, I can’t help but feel like, “Hey. That’s my mom! I want to hang out with her! So you! You quit it!”. Perhaps it is because I have spent too much time with a mommy obsessed two-year old. While that might be influential, the truth is I never meant to fall in love with a man and a life far from my little island in the sea. These things are beyond our control. The truth is I just miss her.
When I think back on the most precious moments with my very own mama what comes to mind is sweet tradition and gentle moments. I couldn’t recall too many crazy vacations, or wild trips, just normal moments feeling quite peaceful and content with things exactly the way they were. Sitting side by side at the ocean’s edge reading, racing across the secret beach, garden tours in my very own backyard with my own personal tour guide, walks in boston so long coke cans had to soothe my aching feet, garden parties complete with fancy hats, laughing hysterically over essentially nothing, the list goes on and on. My mom is my most very treasured friend. She makes every sticky situation unstuck, she finds light in even the darkest hours. She dances like no one is watching and sings very loudly when doing the dishes hoping no is watching (but someone always manages to scare the living daylights out of her). She sheds tears at the drop of a dime. She finds joy in almost every aspect of life. Her advice is uncanny and welcome. She taught me how to make bread! She is proud of me. And I will tell you what, that feels good no matter how old you get.
Isn’t she so beautiful?
I honestly struggled with a way to show her how much I love her on this modern little holiday that is Mothers Day. And then, whenever I did find something that seemed appropriate somehow pay pal would not be working. Night after night this happened! Finally, I picked out a little mama daughter date day. I think it makes sense. So what do you say mama? Want to go to Prudence Island with me this summer?
I booked us a ferry trip, a garden tour, and a few lessons on the medicinal plants of the island. I love you so much mama. You are my sunshine.
And not to take away from my own mama on this fine day but I have to include what my sweet husband gave me. While he is absolutely not the king of romance, every once in a while he does something that just blows be out of the water. Last night, he stayed up late “making me something”. My sweet man of few words just so happens to know how to string them together just so. He insists this is not a poem, but there is no way around it. It clearly is. Miles completed it with what he described as, “A picture of Miles and mommy and daddy and Rowan in the sunshine. Next to the close line.” I love these boys of mine. I truly do.
Like a live oak you yearn to lay deep roots and establish yourself on the land with a meaningful purpose.
Like a live oak you are strong, able to weather powerful storms and hot fires that could easily send us into stress.
Like a live oak you expand your reach, offerin protection and nourishment to all creatures, but expecially to family.
Like a like oak you have been born to this earth with such beauty that only the most forunate of beings are able to recieve your grace.
You are our strength.
Thank you-Lee, Miles Rowan, Mo, Bubba, and Cloud
It is a beautiful thing to become a mother and finally have a glipmse of understanding for the effort and love from your own. To finally see why they will always answer your calls, even if they are on a treadmill, or running out the door. You know, just in case it is an emergency. Or to hear them say they really do understand how you feel, and know they mean it. I am a lucky girl. There is no question of that.
Happy Mothers Day to all~ May this day be spent doing something peaceful and relaxing with your loved ones.
2 thoughts on “ode to mama”
yes yes yes!! love you so much and yes i’m crying.