where ever you go there you are

We went out to supper tonight.  I needed this like no other.  My one year old, my two-year old, my man and I, all together, had a wonderful time.  A miracle in itself, as public displays of eating are not usually our forte.

Today marked an important day.  It is the day we backed away quietly from the house we once (very recently) thought was what our dreams were made of.  We are not really sad when it boils down to it.  I absolutely trust that life is just perfect.  Just the way it is.  There is no room for disappointment.  Not now at least.

I can say with all honesty tonight at supper my boys were damn adorable.  The kind of cute where I was well aware that all eyes were glued.  There every move was hilarious and adorable and sweet all at the same time.  They were polite and inquisitive and kind.  They ate their food like champs.  They were loud but not too loud, just loud enough.  They made me so proud.

We briefly considered moving to a new rental.  Somewhere more centrally located perhaps?  With a park in walking distance?  But we just didn’t have the motivation.  And then?  Then we chose to not even move.  We chose to remain at this little place out in the middle of nowhere.  It pains us to envision the sounds of the city.  Maybe it won’t always be this way.  But right now, we are used to the sounds of here.  Of not much.  Of everything.  As I type I hear a chucks will widow harassing.  I hear the cicadas humming along.  We can blast our music.  We can make our fire.  We don’t have to pack.  We don’t have to move.

Truth is we are a we.  And that makes me want to breath and grin because that is what matters I know it.  And most of all, I know that where ever you go, there you are.  It is all that there is to it really.


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