The last three days I have gotten up, cooked an egg or some oats, poured two cups of milk, sat down knees bent up in my chair knitting, sipping, waking, knitting, and staring at my boys growing.  Particularly the one is three coming up on four and he is so big.  So big.  I finally got the nerve to go ahead and set him see what he could do out there on his own.  We decided a month ago or so he would enjoy a camp offered near by, at The Purple Crayon, only three hours in the morning for five days, that includes some normal toddler like activities followed up by hikes through the forest with a forest ranger.  The building is made for artistic minds of all ages and is quite enticing.  My little man has an avid eye for birds a strong will to run (and fast!) but not much of a desire to leave his mama’s hand behind.  With this knowledge I was under the impression that leaving would be well… a problem.  I knew that I would never ever leave him in a mess of tears screaming for me, so I promised him I would in fact stay the whole day, everyday if he wanted me to.  So Rowan and I camped out for the first day, with much to do and see, and many trucks to play with.  We hiked through the forest, aware of the campers were making sure not to cross direct paths.  We rotated from the play room to the playground when the timing was right.  And, yes I am sure, I was that mama, the only mama who stayed put for the day.  But I didn’t mind, I made a promise.  A promise I would not waver on; My little mans trust depended on it.  But the thing was… minus a few quick check ins, he needed me not after all.

My heart swirls around in my chest and my eyes well up with tears each time he descends down those stairs at the end of the day’s hike.  His little walking stick in hand, headband holding back those “you will not cut my hair under any circumstance” locks, showing off all those pearly whites with a grin so big his eyes are just little crescent moons, it’s a thing to behold.  He is having a good time.  It is true, I am so very glad to have this experience behind us.  But it is also true that I will also be glad to have our normal routine come creeping back as well.

Oh a mothers love… I never knew…