With the knowledge of a third baby around the corner, and the experience of two in diapers at the same time behind me, I am feeling a rather big push to accomplish the dreaded wearing of the underwear for the middle one. It seems I have all the potty learning logistics lined up for me, cloth diapering, lots of naked time, an older brother to mimic… the trifecta. But alas, my three-year old is just not ready. That is right. He isn’t ready. I learned my lesson the first time around, and I will be damned if I let this one break me the way I was broken just a couple of years ago. Maybe I don’t know the right cues, maybe I don’t remind him enough, maybe I started to late, but we are here and this is what it is.
I have been thinking about how often as parents we compare our children, ourselves and our spouses to one another’s. I think about how this habit brings us even further down when things aren’t as smooth as we would like them to be. How without even much effort this comparison sets us up for a disruption of our rhythm, which we have all tried so very hard to create. I am vowing not to let this happen this go at it. I know most little ones seem to be out of diapers a bit sooner than mine, but it isn’t really a big deal. And when people see me toting my newborn around with a puffy diapered three-year olds chubby hand in mine, I will not think twice. When he doesn’t tell me he has gone to the bathroom and I have to figure it out, I refuse to get angry. When I line up my giant man-child next to this newborn babe to change both their diapers I will not gasp at how big this little boy appears. When I have both my big set of diapers and my new-born set out on the line I promise, I will look at those waving banners of color and sigh, because of course I know this time is short. This is my manifesto. I am writing it here to confirm with myself it is so.
And not that I feel my boy is by any means the describing word featured in this song… I can’t help but get this (click here!) song stuck in my head with every diaper change or accident, it’s a knee jerk reaction. I promise I sing it in my head with a smile on my face. It is a good one, it will be stuck in your head too.
8 thoughts on “not yet. not yet. not yet.”
I hear you on that Mariah!! We’re at the same place, and it will happen when it happens!
Oh my goodness! I read your post title on my blog feed and thought your littlest one was coming! Ah! Yes, you are absolutely right that kids potty-learn in their own time and at their own pace!
I thought new baby was coming early also!!!He will be without diapers before you know it. Jackson had just turned 3 when he switched to underpants full time. I was all worried at first. But as with most things it just happens. Planned or not:)
My two oldest boys just wouldn’t do it until they were both three-and-a-HALF. And when they were eventually ready, it was instantaneous! The second time around, not pushing was so much better for everyone involved and he had way fewer accidents because I wasn’t so nutzo about it! It always happens eventually … very few kindergartners are in diapers (but frankly, I’m sure a few actually still are!!) And nearly nobody goes to high school in diapers!!
You are wise in understanding when your son is and isn’t ready….when my third was born, the first two were still in diapers (they were born in three years). Each child is different, for sure!
Oh Mamma, I’m so glad you you posted this. He will get there when he does.Right now the big question of do we have another or not is on the table with time expiring and Panda wont be out of diapers by the time #2 would get here. It’s been a hurdle for my hubby. I’m making him read this. Be well.
Your photos are absolutely wonderful and capture the life of little boys so well. Dirty faces, rolling down hills and all of the other things that make them happy. I’m secretly hoping you have another boy. : ) I have three boys and my daughter just turned four. Boys truly are so much easier!!! LOL!!!! Hope you’re feeling well and having a great weekend!! : )
Thank you! Its nice to hear someone rooting for boy, as I am sure you can imagine EVERYONE asks if we are hoping for a girl:)