Pillows and sheets scattered with dirt, sweaty cheeks leaned against my shoulder, a baby slewn across my soft tummy, a stack of new library books at our side.  These memories are as messy and fragile as they are untouchable and sweet.  Last night while singing the most commonly requested, “You are my sunshine” I was given a reminder at just how powerfully special these days actually are.  In response to the part that pleads, “don’t take my sunshine away”, I heard a little  voice whisper against my neck, “No one ever will mama.”  My heart.  It fell  in to my stomach.  The chaos of being outnumbered means we often have so many items on our to do list just to get everyone clothed and fed, it’s easy to skim right over these beautiful moments.  Because the truth is they are sloppy and unpredictable and very often breakable.  Small children can go from sweet and cuddly to wild and inconsolable in a matter of seconds; It is a very, very fine balance.  Most of the time, they last only long enough for me to take a deep breath and sigh it all in.  Then we are off, and on to the next thing.

So I am on the look out.

Wish me luck on my first week back at it alone.  I can’t say completely alone though because I feel the encouragement and support of so many friends and family.  We have been given so much love these last two weeks, and I am forever grateful.  Thank you!