alter ego

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The feel of a frog in your hands, the sound of rocks in the dryer,  bloody noses, grass stained knees, tick checks, tears on rosy cheeks, big fights, “mama, i love you” notes tucked in my pocket, a million dandelion wishes, and bowl cuts.  Always bowl cuts.  They are currently known as super weaver and hawk eye (appropriately named after a friends big old farm dog) and I love them with all I have got.

Let me tell you, last week sucked.  I will just go out and be honest.  There were never ending fights; Battles so big even I shed a few tears.  There were punishments to be fulfilled and early bedtimes to insist upon.  It was a long, long week.  One in which I am so grateful is behind me!  And now, these two super humans are outside arm in arm exploring while I am in here surely jinxing that.  (Upon editing this, yes, it is a fact:  I did jinx this.)

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It amazes how one glimpse of them riding bikes together, or one moment of sweetness passed between two chubby hands can make up for ten ugly moments.  We are on a roller coaster of ups and downs, learning so much about cooperation and getting along.  It isn’t easy, but I really do see progress.  I see them using strong voices and big phrases helping them solve their own problems and it gives me so much hope.

Sometimes I wish I could travel to the future, just for a bit, to feel how hard I am going to miss holding little toes in the middle of the night so I can come back and thoroughly drink this up.  The fights, the making up, the hugs and the cuddles, the never ending snack delivering.  All of it.

I know that if I am lucky, that time will come and I will have empty arms and a full heart.  And for now I will sip up these baby cheeks with a straw.  They are so deliciously plump and perfect.


What are your ideas for dealing with sibling squabbles?  How do you keep sane?

One thought on “alter ego

  1. I am just trying to sort this out as Li’l D is just starting to show some real jealousy and territorialism. (These are much more minor, so far, than were mine as a small oldest child.)

    In the rough moments, I remind myself to take a long view. My mom always asked if she was a bad mom. She believed she was. Taking a long view, I see she did a great job. I try to take the lessons from the less than optimal moments to do better next time, and leave behind as much of the frustration as I can.

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