this day

The timing of mothers day seems quite intentional and oh so appreciated.  Bright blossoms, leaves unfurling and the hope of an entire season in front of you; It is breathe in the air of spring and the scent of grass wonderful.  After a morning cup of coffee in bed (my most favorite treat in the wide world) and opening up two brand new outfits that actually fit me (oh my goodness such a welcome feeling) and many, many beautiful little boy made cards, I thought I would go out for a morning stroll to the dairy down the road and fill up a jug or two of the fresh clean white stuff.  Listening to the chirps and the breeze was all that I would do, I thought.  When I was just about to turn the bend I felt the rhythm of little pitter patters right behind me.  I couldn’t help but smile and be oh so glad as he reached up for my hand and joined me on this beautiful mornings venture.  We passed the marsh marigolds and the green, green grass and the budding leaves, (real leaves!), and the first sparkles of gold in the not yet lifted darkness of the wood.  The milk truck passed us on our way there, so we left empty handed but full of excitement for the day ahead regardless.  And oh there was excitement.  Though we were quite sorry to see her go, a big old tree came tumbling to her death to clear the way for sunlight to beam onto our newly tilled vegetable garden.  I raked and shoveled all day, much to my contentment I must add, planting a few little seedlings I had started and many many seeds;  Always a little boy helper by my side willing to cover or dig or  fetch with never ending kisses for me and hugs too, handing me every little thing they found that they thought would be a good gift for mothers day.

This day.

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This day felt like the one I had been waiting for all my life.  

I hope your mothers day was filled with light and joy. 

ode to mama

While it is no secret that I am homesick for the family that I was born into, it is hard to understand that what I have been feeling a twinge of lately is that gut wrenching emotion of jealousy.  When I am talking on the phone to my mom, which happens more than you can imagine, and I hear that she is going for a walk with so and so, or out to eat with whats her name, I can’t help but feel like, “Hey.  That’s my mom!  I want to hang out with her!  So you! You quit it!”.  Perhaps it is because I have spent too much time with a mommy obsessed two-year old.  While that might be influential, the truth is I never meant to fall in love with a man and a life far from my little island in the sea.  These things are beyond our control.  The truth is I just miss her.

When I think back on the most precious moments with my very own mama what comes to mind is sweet tradition and gentle moments.  I couldn’t recall too many crazy vacations, or wild trips, just normal moments feeling quite peaceful and content with things exactly the way they were.  Sitting side by side at the ocean’s edge reading, racing across the secret beach, garden tours in my very own backyard with my own personal tour guide, walks in boston so long coke cans had to soothe my aching feet, garden parties complete with fancy hats, laughing hysterically over essentially nothing, the list goes on and on.  My mom is my most very treasured friend.  She makes every sticky situation unstuck, she finds light in even the darkest hours.  She dances like no one is watching and sings very loudly when doing the dishes hoping no is watching (but someone always manages to scare the living daylights out of her).  She sheds tears at the drop of a dime.  She finds joy in almost every aspect of life.  Her advice is uncanny and welcome.  She taught me how to make bread!  She is proud of me.  And I will tell you what, that feels good no matter how old you get.

Isn’t she so beautiful?

I honestly struggled with a way to show her how much I love her on this modern little holiday that is Mothers Day.  And then, whenever I did find something that seemed appropriate somehow pay pal would not be working.  Night after night this happened!  Finally, I picked out a little mama daughter date day.  I think it makes sense.  So what do you say mama?  Want to go to Prudence Island with me this summer?

I booked us a ferry trip, a garden tour, and a few lessons on the medicinal plants of the island.  I love you so much mama.  You are my sunshine.

And not to take away from my own mama on this fine day but  I have to include what my sweet husband gave me.  While he is absolutely not the king of romance, every once in a while he does something that just blows be out of the water.  Last night, he stayed up late “making me something”.  My sweet man of few words just so happens to know how to string them together just so.  He insists this is not a poem, but there is no way around it.  It clearly is.  Miles completed it with what he described as, “A picture of Miles and mommy and daddy and Rowan in the sunshine.  Next to the close line.”  I love these boys of mine.  I truly do.

Like a live oak you yearn to lay deep roots and establish yourself on the land with a meaningful purpose.

Like a live oak you are strong, able to weather powerful storms and hot fires that could easily send us into stress. 

Like a live oak you expand your reach, offerin protection and nourishment to all creatures, but expecially to family.

Like a like oak you have been born to this earth with such beauty that only the most forunate of beings are able to recieve your grace. 

You are our strength.

Thank you-Lee, Miles Rowan, Mo, Bubba, and Cloud

It is a beautiful thing to become a mother and finally have a glipmse of understanding for the effort and love from your own.  To finally see why they will always answer your calls, even if they are on a treadmill, or running out the door.  You know, just in case it is an emergency.  Or to hear them say they really do understand how you feel, and know they mean it.  I am a lucky girl.  There is no question of that.

Happy Mothers Day to all~ May this day be spent doing something peaceful and relaxing with your loved ones.